


hemorrhage for the heart of me

by bbiesonthebbq



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood Loss, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Mild Gore, Past Character Death, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Temporary Character Death, Trauma, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bbiesonthebbq/pseuds/bbiesonthebbq
Summary: “Stay still. Don’t get up or move too much, you could hurt yourself worse.”“Can’t be that bad,” Jason protests, jerking his head in a short, bemused shake.He begins to rise, bracing on his elbows. He’s sure he’s fine. Rangers heal fast, after all. He’s totally okay. Confident in this, Jason gets all of some inches off the ground before the pain in his side goes blinding bright again. His breath stutters in his throat and he sinks back to the dirt.“I repeat, don’t get up,” Billy gasps, exasperated. “Don’t as indo not.Those were key instructions, Jason.”
Relationships: Billy Cranston & Jason Lee Scott
Comments: 4
Kudos: 41





	hemorrhage for the heart of me

**Author's Note:**

> decided to rate this fic as gen since nothing explicitly romantic takes place, but totally feel free to view it as cranscott if you wish. i am cranscott trash through and through.
> 
> messed with the mythos of the og scorpina and gave the moogers' weapons to the z-putties (who aren't even zedd's anymore whoops) merged with movie putties. but 2017 canon altered rita anyway so i think it's fair. i'm here for whump over plot, ngl. also the headcanon that jason is ferociously protective over billy can be pried from my cold dead fingers, thanks.

Jason wouldn’t think anyone with the name of Rita Repulsa would have any lovers. Least of all loyal lovers. But low and behold, Scorpina’s shown up to prove him wrong. Terrorizing his town and his team in the name of avenging Rita. She doesn’t even seem to care about the crystal so much as she cares about making everyone suffer. 

Zordon claims Scorpina isn’t strong enough to take the crystal even if she wanted to. Supposedly she isn’t as strong as Rita and isn’t as big of a threat, but Jason’s skeptical on that front, because her putties are stronger than Rita’s ever were. Bigger, stronger, more durable. And armed. Scorpina’s putties are always armed, with serrated swords, spears, blasters or flails. 

They’re battling a drove of the putties at the quarry when one of them equip with a flail begins advancing on Billy. Billy, who is already standing his ground against being tag-teamed by a pair of them. Jason’s gut lurches and his brain goes blank, only processing two things, _danger_ and _Billy_. 

It’s pure primate panic that jumps into his chest, he cannot pause to evaluate or strategize because it’s _danger_ coming right at _Billy_. Jason’s knee-jerk reaction is to get the threat away from Billy and it’s pure instinct he’s running on as he barrels forward and bodily tackles the putty. For a moment, there’s only weightlessness and then they’re tumbling over the side of the quarry. 

Jason’s still entangled with the putty when they first bounce off the jagged rock, can’t get enough purchase to jump and direct the landing. The world pinwheels around him and then he’s airborne for just a heartbeat before they crash back down again. The putty disintegrates into gravel upon impact, and Jason smacks the hard earth in an awkward belly flop as it crumbles out from underneath him. 

He sucks in a breath as he tries to get his bearings, bracing himself on his hands and knees. As he rises, Jason realizes two things. The first thing he realizes, is at some point during the fall, he’d demorphed. The second thing he realizes, is why he’s demorphed. 

The putty’s flail breached the armor, piercing through. Its spiked, metallic ball is buried in Jason’s side right under his ribs, about the size of a bodybuilder’s fist. Jason shakily pulls himself to his feet as he stares at the blood soaking through his shirt. 

“Oh…” 

It doesn’t hurt at first. Initially he doesn’t feel anything at all. He thinks it might even be an illusion of some kind and curls his hands around the chain, giving it a ginger, exploratory tug. He feels heat rather than pain and then this strange kind of pinching pressure. 

He realizes it’s the pressure of the spikes piercing inside him and that’s a pretty jarring thing. Reflexively, Jason tightens his grip on the chain and yanks back. Blood spurts as the steel sphere tears from his flesh, three spikes glistening red. The heavy ball drops back to the earth in a solid thud and the chin slips through Jason’s hands, coiling on the ground. 

Pulling it out proves to be a spectacularly stupid idea, as a shockwave of pain bursts through him in a agonizing supernova. Jason’s vision whites out as some inhuman noise tears from his throat. He thinks he can hear his teammates shouting over it, but he can’t actually focus enough to know for sure as his legs give out from under him and he collapses like a card table. 

*

  
*

  
* 

“Jason! Jason, hey!” 

He blinks his eyes open to see his teammates buzzing above him like frantic honeybees, all demorphed and wearing worried expressions. Including Billy, an observation that fills him with relief. 

“Oh, good,” he sighs out, soft and low. “You’re okay.” 

Billy’s eyes widen, tongue nervously sweeping over his lips. 

“Yeah, but you’re not. So don’t try to get up yet.” 

Jason reflexively reaches for the source of the pain. Trini and Zack are pushing something into his stomach so hard it feels like they’re trying to pop his organs. His fingertips brush damp material and then Billy’s hand grabs his, tugging away before Jason can do any real probing. 

“Don’t mess with that,” Billy says, squeezing his hand tighter instead of letting go. “Stay still. Don’t get up or move too much, you could hurt yourself worse.” 

“Can’t be that bad,” Jason protests, jerking his head in a short, bemused shake. 

He begins to rise, bracing on his elbows. He’s sure he’s fine. Rangers heal fast, after all. He’s totally okay. Confident in this, Jason gets all of some inches off the ground before the pain in his side goes blinding bright again. His breath stutters in his throat and he sinks back to the dirt. 

“I repeat, don’t get up,” Billy gasps, exasperated. “Don’t as in _do not_. Those were key instructions, Jason.” 

“Listen to Billy,” Trini pipes in, and it sounds like she’s trying to be frustrated but all Jason really hears is concern. “Stay down and let us stop the bleeding.” 

Jason grinds his teeth against the pain, peering back down at his and Billy’s hands. Billy is fine, Billy is here and whole, and that’s what he wants to focus on. He wonders if it’d be okay to intertwine their fingers but doesn’t have enough time to decide before Kim is tilting his face toward her. 

“When’s my birthday?” 

“What?” he mutters, bemused. “Why—“ 

“I’m checking you for a concussion, Jason. When’s my birthday?”

“I don’t have a concussion…”

“We need to check,” Kim insists. “You fell most of the way down here and you passed out.”

“Your birthday is February 14th,” he answers. 

Kim’s lips twitch with a brief smile that doesn’t meet her eyes and then she tests him, making Jason follow her finger with his gaze. He does it to satisfy her even though he’s confident in not having a concussion. 

Jason’s had three concussions in his life and the way he felt during them isn’t the way he feels now. The first one was in sophomore year, in the game against Stanton High when three seniors piled on top him. The second was earlier this year when the prank went belly up and he flipped the truck. The third was just last month, when he got dislodged from his seat and punted around the cockpit of his Zord upon taking the swipe from Trakeena’s tentacle that’d been aimed at Billy. It shot him so high into the atmosphere, he’d been halfway convinced he was going to run into Rita. 

“Okay,” Kim decides, lowering her hand. “Doesn’t look like you’re concussed.” 

“Won’t say I told you so,” he teases, aiming to lighten the mood and pretty sure he misses the mark when the laugh he means to give comes out a pained huff. 

“Bleeding’s slowed down but it still looks pretty bad.” Trini declares, anxiously tugging at the hem of her beanie with fingers stained red. “Do you wanna go to the hospital?” 

“No way,” Jason dismisses immediately. “Everything is wrong with that idea.” 

“Dude, there was a flail in your gut,” Zack says bluntly, gesturing at what’s presumably the injury, one hand smeared red just like Trini’s is, the other Jason can still feel applying pressure. He wants to check out the damage for himself but he doesn’t feel ready to attempt getting up a second time quite yet. 

“Yeah, how would I explain what happened?” Jason swallows, forces himself to focus on speaking over the pain. “No hospital. They’d ask me questions I can’t answer and charge me bills my dad can’t pay. Besides, isn’t the big bonus of superhuman healing abilities that we don’t have to do all that?” 

“Our powers don’t mean you can just shrug this off, Jason. We’re durable, not indestructible.” Kim folds her arms, frowning in reproach. 

But Jason knows that very well, he doesn’t need to be told twice. He rubs his thumb over Billy’s knuckle and looks up at Billy’s face, making a mental map of his features for what must be the millionth time. No matter how often he gazes into Billy’s eyes and finds them vibrant with life, he can never rid himself of the memory of when he was terrified they would never open again, Billy unmoving on the dock, clothes drenched, sickeningly slack when they picked him up. His lifeless weight felt so wrong in ways Jason can’t begin to describe and his skin was cold as ice by the time they finally got him to Zordon’s ship. 

No, Jason doesn’t need to be reminded they aren’t indestructible. He could never, ever forget. 

“Well, what do you want us to do then?” Trini chews her lip. “You have literal holes in your stomach.” 

“Guess I could just go home, patch myself up with the first aid kit…” 

“Better plan,” Billy chimes in, holding a finger in the air. “You come over to my house, I patch you up with our first aid kit, and make sure you don’t do anything to aggravate your wounds. We also have bananas at my house, which are high in vitamin B6. And cantaloupe, which has vitamin C. More than oranges, contrary to popular belief. Most people think oranges—“ 

“Billy,” Kim interrupts, tone pointed. 

“What?” he blinks rapidly. “Vitamin B6 is a good red blood cell builder and vitamin C enhances iron absorption. Both are beneficial when you lose blood and Jason...just lost a lot of blood.” 

The look Billy gives him reminds Jason of the way people looked at him right after he got cut from the football team, like he ran over their dog. Only Billy’s look is worse than that, Billy’s look just about breaks his heart and Jason wants to reach for his hand again but he stops himself. Curls his fingers into his palm instead. Billy prefers initiating touch over being touched, after all, and apparently Jason’s spooked him enough already today. 

Trini bobs her head in agreement. “You owe me a new jacket, Red.” 

“That what you and Zack were mashing my guts with?” he quips. 

“Yup.” 

“Maybe the blood stains will give it character.” 

Jason’s attempt at humor is met poorly. Trini scowls. Kimberly reproachfully swats his shoulder. Zack groans into his hands. Billy gives him a deadpan stare so utterly devoid of amusement, it would probably make a circus clown cry. 

“Sorry, bad joke,” he admits. 

“Alright.” Kim claps her hands together. “So who’s gonna carry him?” 

“Wait, no, I don’t need carrying,” Jason decides before anyone can volunteer. “I’m moving a little slow, but I’m not…I mean, I’m mostly okay. I’m not gonna pass out again or anything.” 

Everyone exchanges skeptical looks. Jason gathers his strength and braces on his elbows again, pushing himself up. He clenches his teeth against the pain that blasts through his torso like a cherry bomb. Pauses to sit and gingerly presses his hand over Trini’s indeed bloodstained jacket before he draws himself to a full stand. The rest of his team gets up too, staring at him with varying levels of apprehension and uncertainty. 

“Kinda looks like you’re gonna pass out again,” Zack says, grimacing. 

“You’re really pale,” Kim hums dubiously. 

Trini nods agreement, hands on her hips. “Like Casper the ghost.” 

“Or mayonnaise.” Zack clucks his tongue. 

“And you're kinda wobbly,” Billy adds. “Sure you’re not gonna pass out again?” 

“Nah, I’m good. All good…” Jason takes two steps and finds his head spinning like a carousel. He’s pretty dizzy, finds himself feeling weaker than anticipated. He takes a few more steps and cants awkwardly to the side, stumbling a bit. Billy grabs his arm and steadies him before he can trip. 

“Okay, maybe not _all_ good,” he revises, blinking rapidly. 

“I’m— I’m carrying you, okay?” 

“Mhmm,” Jason concedes, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth and bracing himself. 

Billy scoops him up as practically as possible with little jostling, one arm under his legs, the other around his back. The motion still tugs uncomfortably at Jason’s wounds and he can feel fresh blood warm on his skin under the fabric of Trini’s jacket. He presses down hard on top of it even though it hurts.

It hurts, it hurts, _fuck,_ it really hurts. 

Jason tucks his face into Billy’s shoulder and keeps it there, his jaw clenched tight. He doesn’t want to make any sound that might scare his teammates. Doesn’t trust himself not to if he opens his mouth. The adrenaline or whatever that might’ve been dialing the pain back is well worn off by now and even though he’s trying to bear it stoically like a good leader should, it just…really fucking hurts. 

He’s sweating bullets by the time they get back to Kimberly’s car. And when he squeezes into the backseat between Billy and Zack, he catches a glimpse of himself in the rearview mirror and finds he looks just as pale as his team was saying. It’s a little unnerving. 

Jason knew he was hurt and it’s not like it’s the first time he’s been hurt. He was an athlete from middle school to senior year. And almost as soon as he got demoted from being an athlete, he got promoted to being a superhero. They get their bumps and bruises in the pit and take some pretty hard hits during actual battles, accelerated healing or not. He’s no stranger to pain. 

But he didn’t realize just how bad he looked and now that he’s looking into his lap, it occurs to him that he didn’t actually grasp just how bloody Trini’s jacket was either. She wasn’t wrong. He really does owe her a new one, previously pretty goldenrod dyed with ruthless red splotches. 

He tips his head back, stares up at the roof of the car for a good portion of the drive and tries to keep his breaths even. At some point, Trini gets his attention by reaching back from the passenger’s seat, nudging his chin with her water bottle. Jason takes a grateful sip, then another, finds some comfort in swishing the water between his teeth. 

“Holding up okay?” Zack asks, squeezing his shoulder. 

“Yeah.” 

“It’s not too late if you changed your mind about the hospital,” Kim offers, glancing back at him from the rearview mirror. 

“Nah.” Jason shakes his head. “Billy doesn’t charge as much.” 

He slides his eyes to Billy, feeling a nugget of satisfaction watching his lips twitch into a small smile. Then Kim hits a pothole and the whole car gives a little bounce, fresh agony bursting through his wounds. A short, unintended hiss of pain slips past Jason’s teeth and the tiny smile drops right off Billy’s face. 

* 

  
* 

  
* 

Getting out of the car hurts almost as much as the worried looks on his teammate’s faces as Billy promises to keep them updated. Jason leans heavily on him, undeniably spent at this point. When Kim drives away, Billy wordlessly loops Jason’s arm over his shoulders and shepherds him into the house. 

“I didn’t bring you over just to patch you up, you know.” 

“No?” Jason blinks curiously. 

“Okay, so that’s a big part of it because I think it’s better than leaving you to your own devices with a first aid kit. You put ice on your burn that one time—“ 

“Exactly. One time, it was just one time.” 

“—and you pulled out the flail today, which was the thing keeping all the blood from gushing out,” Billy carries on. 

Jason gives a self-conscious wince. In hindsight, yeah, that hadn’t been a great idea. 

“But I also brought you over because I want to talk.” Billy ducks out from under his arm and ushers him down on the rim of the bathtub without missing a beat. “Do you think you’re lucid enough to talk?” 

Jason dazedly watches Billy paw through the cabinets under the bathroom sink and runs a hand through his hair. 

“Um, I don’t know…guess it depends on how deep we're going.” 

Between the persistent pain and the distracting dizziness, he’s not sure he could actually engage in any kind of intense conversation. 

Billy pulls the kit out from under the sink and makes his way back over, setting it on the rim beside Jason. 

“It can wait then,” he says, nodding his head. “We can talk later. After you have a banana. And some cantaloupe. And maybe drink some prune juice. We have prune juice too.” 

Jason wrinkles his nose. “No way I’m drinking prune juice, Billy.” 

“But it’s rich in iron.” Billy pops the kit open. “Iron is essential in blood production. And you’ve got a least a medium-sized women’s bomber jacket of blood to replace.” 

“Still no sell,” he sighs, shaking his head. 

Billy swipes his tongue over his lips and carefully moves the bundle of Trini’s jacket away. Removing Jason’s shirt is trickier. The fabric stiffened up as the blood dried, fastening it to his wounds like superglue. 

Billy grasps the hem with an apologetic look. 

“This is gonna hurt.” 

“I know.” 

Jason bites the inside of his cheeks to keep silent as Billy pulls his shirt off. It feels like it’s his skin being ripped away, his wounds screaming in rebellion. Now he finally has a look at them, three ugly punctures about as big around as chicken eggs. Raw, grapefruit pink meat glistens up at him, fresh blood trickling around the edges of the torn skin. His hand hovers protectively over the area but he can’t actually bring himself to touch as he hunches over, wracked with uncontrollable tremors. 

“Need a minute,” he rasps out without looking up. 

To Jason’s surprise, he feels the warmth of Billy’s hand at the back of his neck. Billy steps closer and gently guides his head forward, letting Jason push it into his chest. Jason exhales a shuddering breath and stays like that for a moment, shifting his gaze from his wounds to the floor tile as Billy’s fingers softly stroke over his nape. 

It feels like he stops entirely too soon. 

“That was probably the worst part,” Billy says quietly, picking through the kit. “The rest of this won’t be that bad.”

“Yeah…you’re right.”

Billy flushes out the wounds with some saline that washes cool over the open meat. Lightly pats the surrounding skin dry with a clean cloth. Jason watches, distantly wondering whatever it is he wants to talk about. Hoping it isn’t anything too serious. 

Billy squeezes some antibiotic goop out of a tube and spreads it over the ugly grapefruit flesh with a cotton swab. Jason figures it must have some kind of painkiller agent in it, because the areas begin to numb. After that, he strips these thick, sterile gauze pads out of individual packages and carefully tapes them into place over each wound. 

“Almost done,” he says, so low he might be talking to himself. 

“Thanks for this,” Jason tells him anyway. 

Billy sighs through his nose and beings unraveling a clean white roll of cotton bandaging. He begins wrapping around Jason’s torso, attentive and focused. He winds it around in overlapping layers until all the gauze pads are covered and protected. Then he snips it from the roll and secures it in place with more medical tape. 

“Well, that’s a lot nicer to look at.” Jason compliments, impressed. “You could be a professional.” 

“You’ve given me a lot of practice,” Billy tells him matter-of-factly. “We’ll have to check it again in a couple hours. And change out dressings. I know we heal faster than normal people but you still gotta keep it clean. You’ll remember to change them out at home too, right?” 

“Sure thing, doc,” Jason promises, flexing his fingers against the rim of the tub. 

He pushes himself up as Billy puts the first aid kit away, taking a few experimental steps. Still hurts. Not as bad as it did though. Definitely some kind of analgesic in the goop. He doesn’t think he’s as lightheaded as he was earlier, but bending down to pick up the bloody clothes still proves to be a poor decision. 

Jason gets a head rush and his vision wavers. Luckily he doesn’t face-plant. Unluckily, he gracelessly folds like a misassembled camping tent, groping at the wall as he falls to one knee. 

Billy jumps, panicky as he flaps his hands. “Jason, you have— you have holes in your body, you gotta take it slow!” 

“Noted,” he mumbles, blinking back stars. 

Billy helps him up. Jason finds his feet okay once he is, manages to make his way down the hall without incident. Tosses Trini’s ruined jacket and his own ruined shirt in the trashcan under the kitchen sink. He knows his way around the Cranston household pretty well by now. 

“By the way, where’s your mom?” 

“Adult coloring with her friends. The Angel Grove Adult Coloring Club meets at the library every other Friday.” 

“Huh. Didn’t know that.” 

“They have coffee and snacks and stuff. Speaking of snacks, are you ready for a banana?” 

Jason doesn’t particularly have an appetite. More than anything, he thinks he’d just like to crawl in bed and crash for awhile. But the food thing seems pretty important to Billy, so he nods and swipes a banana from the fruit bowl on the counter. 

“Sure. It’s got B12, right?” 

“B6.” 

“Good to know.” Jason leans back against the counter as he peels it. 

Billy stares at him so intensely as he takes a bite, Jason’s sure Zack would make a joke about it if he were here. But he’s also sure it doesn’t have anything to do with the things Zack would be thinking. He swallows and stares back, tilting his head. 

“Did I scare you today?”

“Yes.” 

“I got scared too.” Jason takes another bite of banana. 

“You were scared for me?” Billy raises a brow. 

He nods, chewing over the fruit. 

“I thought so. That’s part of what I want to talk to you about.” 

Jason gives him a quizzical look. 

“I’m noticing a pattern. At first I wasn’t sure if was a pattern, but today made me pretty sure it’s pattern, so I have to talk to you about it.” Billy pauses and takes a breath. “But I’ll let you finish the banana first.” 

“Uh…okay.” 

Jason studies him, retracing the day in his head and pondering what this apparent pattern could be. Tries to eat fast so they can just get onto it, and almost chokes on a chunk of banana when he stuffs too much in his mouth. Tosses the peel in the trash afterward and then turns to Billy expectantly. 

“We’ll talk in the living room,” he decides. “So you can sit down.”

He grabs Jason by the wrist and gently tugs him along. Sits him down in the middle of the couch. Jason leans back into the cushions, idly pulling a throw pillow into his lap. 

“Hit me, Billy. What’s going on?” 

“I noticed this pattern,” he repeats. “You keep protecting me when we’re fighting. You did it again today. This is the seventh time I’ve noticed it and the fifth time you’ve gotten hurt doing it.” 

Jason swallows, picking at the fringe of the throw pillow. “It’s not like that’s weird. We’re a team, we have each other’s backs, we protect each other.” 

“I considered that,” Billy tells him, holding up a finger. It wiggles in the air as he continues on, like he’s a wizard waving an invisible wand. “But it’s different with me. It’s like you always charge in the second you think I _might_ be in danger.” 

“I’m— Billy, how is this a problem?” Jason turns up a hand in confusion. “You don’t want me to back you up?” 

“I don’t want special treatment,” he declares, holding Jason’s gaze plainly. “It’s not that I don’t want you to have my back, I do. And I have yours too, but sometimes you just assume I need help even when I don’t. You don’t ask me like you ask Kimberly or Zack, or Trini. You just assume and jump in.” 

Jason chews his lip as his stomach somersaults uncomfortably. There is a pattern here. Billy isn’t exactly wrong about that. 

“You just rush in and sometimes it’s crazy reckless, like you’re not thinking at all. Like today! Today, I would’ve been okay. I had the upper hand against the tag-team, Jason. I destroyed both putties right as you went over the cliffside.” Billy paces back and forth, finger still waving. “Or with the Spit Flower. I had room to retreat and I would’ve been okay, but you swooped in and the fight went sideways! It broke your arm!” 

Jason remembers the Spit Flower. Really creepy thing, like what would happen if someone dumped a venus flytrap and a king crab in a pit of radioactive alien waste. He also remembers its toothy pinchers aimed at Billy and the primal fear that possessed his chest, spurring him forward like a fighting bull with red in sight. Those pinchers clenched around his forearm with a force so strong the razor teeth pierced the armor straight down to the bone. He’d spent the next week and a half awkwardly hiding a splint with baggy sweatshirt sleeves, but it was preferable to what probably would’ve been six weeks in a cast if he were a normal person. 

“I don’t get it!” Billy exclaims. “Is it because I’m on the spectrum? Do you not think I’m a capable Ranger?” 

“No!” Jason gasps. “Of course not! Hell, Billy, you’re the most capable Ranger out of all of us. You’re the one who found the coins, you were the first one of us to morph, you’re hands down the smartest person I know.”

Billy stops pacing, fixing Jason with a noncomprehending look. “Then what is it?” 

“I’m protective over everyone.” He struggles with the things he doesn’t really want to talk about, knot forming in his throat as the worst memories he has rise to the surface. 

“Yeah but you don’t freak out over everyone like you freak out over me,” Billy says, sounding more distressed than accusatory. 

Well, whether Jason wants to talk about it or not, here they are. Billy’s stressed out and possibly even insulted, and Jason owes him an explanation. 

“You died,” he says softly, something dismal and grim gripping his heart. Jason swears he can still smell the dead fish. 

Billy’s eyes widen with shock. 

“You didn’t just die either,” Jason solemnly goes on, throat knotting even tighter. “It’s my fault. I got you killed.” 

“Jason, no.” Billy’s shoulders jerk back, face screwing up in disbelief. 

“Yes! It was my stupid plan, I led you to your death.” Jason hangs his head as guilt gnaws through his insides. 

“I don’t blame you,” Billy swears vehemently, plopping on the couch beside Jason and putting a hand against his back. “I don’t blame you for any of that.” 

“I do,” Jason replies, just as vehement, shaking his head. There’s moisture stinging in his eyes and he furiously blinks it back. “You— I can’t tell you what it was like, Billy, I can’t talk about it. But I think about it all the time.” 

The way Kimberly’s voice crumbled. Trini quivering helplessly. Zack’s eyes bulging with the same horror Jason felt like a hurricane in his head. The way he froze up, totally useless. Billy lying supine like a lifeguard’s practice dummy, lungs waterlogged for real. The plunge into the river at the quarry, Billy with no heartbeat, no body heat, dead face mere inches from Jason’s, Kim’s distraught face hovering behind. The despair of that moment swallowing just about every shred of hope left in him, deep and gut-wrenching.

He relives it in all of his nightmares. It plagues his bad days, it’s always in the back of his mind even on the good ones. 

Billy’s hand moves up from his back as he slides his arm around Jason’s shoulders. He reels him into a hug that feels almost as weighty as the one he gave him that night, when Jason’s fears were suddenly proven wrong. He melts into it and hugs him back, nuzzling up against his cheek. 

“I’m sorry for putting this on you,” Jason murmurs. “And I’m sorry if I made you feel bad, if I hurt you.” 

Billy hums a sound that could mean anything. His arms loosen and he slowly withdraws from the hug. He traces the layers of bandaging around Jason’s torso with tender fingertips and rests his hand over the visible bulk of gauze pads hidden beneath. 

“This part hurt the most,” he says. “You didn’t die so I know it’s not the same. But for a second, I thought you might. This could’ve been a lot worse than it was, Jason.” 

“Yeah,” he admits. “I know.” 

“It makes more sense now. Why you are how you are with me. But you’ve gotta try to rein it in, okay?” Billy rubs his lips together. “You need to count on me to let you guys know if I need help. Or if you do see me struggling— really struggling —think before you act. Even if you were gonna back me up today, man, tackling the putty off the cliff was not the way to go about it.” 

“Not my best plan of action,” Jason sighs in agreement. “That’s the thing though, it wasn’t really a plan at all. I just…” 

“Freaked out?” 

“Pretty much.” 

“Promise me you’ll try not to do that anymore?” 

Jason fills his lungs with a deep breath. It’s going to be hard. When he feels that spike of panic, the memories flash through his mind, and then the instinct just kicks in. But he should try, at least. He absolutely should try. 

He exhales slowly and raises his hand, stretching out his pinkie. 

“I promise. Pinky promise, even.” 

Billy smiles and hooks his pinky around Jason’s, giving a gentle tug of officiation. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'll whump every ranger at some point, think it was just easier experiment with jason first since he got the most focus and i'm inexperienced writing for this fandom. a fandom i showed up to three years late. go figure.
> 
> btw i can totally understand why ppl don't think billy likes touch since when jason pulled him into a hug, he asked him to stop. but considering later in the movie billy reaches out to the others at several points (i think for jason twice in the ship, then offering a fist bump to trini at the bonfire, not counting the hugs after he died) i *personally* interpreted it that billy is more comfortable to be the one to initiate touch rather than disliking touch itself. also that he was likely kinda startled in that hug scene since he defo didn't expect jason to just up and grab him. 


End file.
